"I think I would, yes. Were you relieved or disappointed when you survived the attempt?"[/quote]"I...haven't really thought about that...I don't know for certain...When Dongwoo walked in on me, I was disappointed that he was there for it. I was...so close...before he talked me out of it. I was faint, almost dead...I felt...peaceful...I regret not letting myself go through with it. All my suffering could be over now if I hadn't let him talk me into it. But some of the things he told me made me feel obligated to stay...he's been with me this whole time so I felt like I owed something to him. He told me he loved me and that I'd hurt him if I left him, and he started to cry...I can't handle seeing that, so I got scared because I thought I was done for and I felt like maybe I had made the wrong choice...but at the same time I wished I could have gone through with it. He got me to throw up and then rushed me to the hospital and I nearly passed out on the way here...as they were bringing me into the operation room, Dongwoo had to stay back. I found myself then wishing I'd pull though...I think mostly because I didn't want that to be his last memory of me. I made it a point this morning to have a good time with him so his last memory of me would be good, not the depressed mess I truly am...I wanted to pull through for his sake...so when I awoke here, I had mixed feelings. I woke up and he was with me, so I was happy to see his relieved face...but the suffering was immediate, and I keep regretting that I didn't choose some more effective method other than overdose...that way everything would just be over...but...what's done is done, I guess..."
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