"Everyone reacts differently to different medications, but there's always one that works for each individual. We'd find the one suited for you."

"Please, don't try to convince me now. I've thought about it and the idea stresses me out. I don't want to have to live on medication for the rest of my life.."

The doctor nods in understanding and flashes you a smile, "Well thank you for your cooperation. If you do not want therapy now, then you don't have to remain here. If it's alright, I'd like to leave my number with you in case you change my mind, or even if you need to chat about this. You don't have to call ever if you don't want to."

"Okay...and, so I know...what's your name? I need to think things over...I might call about therapy. I don't know yet...I need to think. Would you be my doctor or would I be referred to someone else?"

"I'm Doctor Park, but you can call me Kyungjoon if you'd be more comfortable with that. I'd be your doctor, and I do work in the therapeutic ward as well so I can send in your referral if you'd like me to be your therapist if that's what you decide," he smiles.

" Do you have a private office, Doctor Park?" I ask, assuming that for regular therapy I'd be referred to a private doctor rather than a hospital doctor.

"I do, just a few blocks from here," he smiles, "the address is on my card."

I nod and take the card from him. "I might call you in a few days after I discuss things with my manager. He's probably going to force me onto extended leave..."

"That might be for the best," Dr. Park smiles, "just let me know, alright? I want nothing more than your recovery."

"Thank you," I say, bowing as much as I can with all the wires and tubes. " Do you know when I'm free to go? I really just want to go home and sleep.."

"Within the next half hour, a nurse should be by to take all those away," he says, gesturing to all the tubes and wires, "and then you're free to go whenever you'd like."

"That's a relief...thanks. So...about the 'suicide watch' thing...is it okay if Dongwoo discusses it with me? Since we need to work something out...I think he should be involved.."

"I agree - I think what might be best suited to your situation is if he was involved and continued to watch you. You seem to me more comfortable with that, correct?"

"Correct," I agree. "I trust him."

"Alright, then I should be able to arrange for him to be the one to watch you if he'll sign a few papers."

"Can you get him and bring him back here so I can talk to him about this..?"

"Of course," the doctor smiles, and he gets up and walks over to the door. He opens it, and I'm waiting in the hallway counting the celing tiles and trying to determine if the half ones count or not.
"You may come back in, there's something Myungsoo would like to discuss with you."
"Alright~" I smile, getting back to my feet and walking back into the room.

I motion for you to come over to the edge of the bed. "We were talking about...uh...what to do next? He wants to put me on suicide watch....and wants me to consider therapy and medication...you know how I feel, how do you feel...?"

"If you feel unsafe, I think suicide watch would be good, just in case, right? And...I know you're against therapy and medication and all, but it really might help you. Do you think you'd be willing to start small? Maybe just therapy once a week? I could drive you if you want to try it." I offer with a smile, sitting down next to you.

"Suicide watch means I have to go to a ward and won't be near you..." I comment, wanting to know if this makes you feel as....anxious as I do... "I don't want medication, I don't know about therapy yet...I think we should discuss it more later..."

"Is there any way..I could maybe watch you? I'm around you all the time as it is..." I trail off...I don't really want you away from me. "And you don't have to try any of that right away, it's okay. We can just get you home for now and talk about it later, that's alright," I say with a smile.

"We were discussing making you my guardian sort of...If you don't want the responsibility though, Hyoan-hyung could probably sign the papers instead..." I pause, not wanting to burden you. "Yeah..I have Dr. Park's card to call him if we need to later.."

"I can do it, I don't mind," I assure you with a soft smile, "and good - just in case. We'll take it easy the next few days and figure out what we want to do."

"Okay," I say, looking at you sadly. "Can we get the papers to sign?" I ask the doctor.

"Of course. I'll be back in a few minutes," the doctor smiles before getting up and going off to go get them.
"How'd it go?" I ask, looking at you. You don't seem too worked up or stressed out, so maybe it was alright?

I turn to look at you and shake my head. "I just really want to go home, hyung, I'm tired. I want to lay in bed for 48 hours. I don't want to answer any more questions. I don't want to have someone diagnosing my problems. I just want to sleep..." I say, my tone a little sharp, not because I'm trying to be mean or rude, I'm just rattled after being told what's wrong with me and being asked questions about my suicide attempt and being told that I need therapy and medication and suicide watch.

I nod in understanding, knowing you've had a long day, "Alright, you can do that then." I saw with a soft smile, and I reach over simply to give your hand a gentle squeeze.

I almost pout, leaning my head forward and resting my forehead on your shoulder. I don't say anything, I just whine a little.