"Do you want to rest now? I was just going to grab something to eat." I say, straightening up.

"Ah....I don't think I can sleep. Can I sit with you..?"

"Of course. Can I get you some water or anything?" I ask, not offering you food as I know you won't eat.

"Water sounds nice," I say, really not wanting to take another trip to the hospital. I'm sick of hospitals.

"Want ice?" I ask as I lead you to the kitchen.

"Yes, please. And do we have lemon?" I asked as I subconsciously reached for your hand with my left hand, keeping the right one by my side and away from you as much as possible.

"I think we have one I can slice up for you," I smile, taking your hand in mine happy, now fully aware of the way my heart squeezes.

"Thanks," I say as we walk into the kitchen.

I give your hand a small squeeze before letting it go and walking over to the cupboard to grab a glass for you. I fill it with water and add a few ice cubes before getting out a lemon and cutting a slice out for you.

I watch as you get my glass of water. I can't help but notice that you do pretty much anything I ask of you. I hate asking for things, but whenever I need anything, you make sure I get it.

(Whipped.)

I cut a small nick in the lemon slice and put it on the side of your glass before I bring it over to you and smile, "There you go~"

"Thanks," I say as I put the lemon in the water and take a sip of it. "What are you going to eat?"

"I might make a sandwich, depends what we have in the fridge. I know we have fresh bread," I muse, opening up the refrigerator door.

"Okay." At that, my stomach grumbles, begging to be fed the food I keep denying it. At the same time, I fake a cough so that you don't hear it.

"If you want food, let me know. We have lots of fruit, some crackers, leftovers.. Whatever you want," I smile, beginning to make myself a sandwich.

"Thanks. I'm fine though," I reply and offer a (painfully forced) smile.

"If you're sure," I smile again, humming to myself as I begin to put it together, being generous with toppings. I am pretty hungry.

My stomach growls again, louder this time as the smell of food fills the room. I bite my lip and look away, trying not to think about it.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?" I ask, biting my lip. "There's some leftovers that Sunggyu made and you know he'll pout if his food doesn't get eaten."

"N-not now.." I say, feeling a little cornered as you push me to eat something. I look down at my stomach and my mind instantly shoots insults at me. Fat, fat, fat...it makes me sick to even think about my body.

I nod, backing off. I don't want to push you too much, "Alright, maybe later then?" I ask with a soft smile.

I shrug. The thought of eating makes me really anxious right now, even more so than usual.

"What do you want to do?" I ask once I've finished putting my snack together, "I think someone brought home some new movies. Want to check them out?"

"Sure, we could do that," I say, though really my mind is elsewhere. I keep thinking about my hand, my body, the mirror, my suicide attempt, how much I want to just sleep forever and never wake up....

"Do you want to pick the movie?" I ask lightly, taking a large bite of the sandwich and unintentionally letting out a soft hum. It's a good sandwich.

"Yeah, I'll be right back," I say, taking the opportunity to leave the room and not watch you eat. I walk into the living room and find a stack of movies that haven't yet been put away. I find a Korean sub version of Now You See Me that catches my eye, since I recall one of the actors from The Avengers and take that one and set it aside before looking through the rest of the stack. The others seem so violent and I'm not sure I'm ready to see a lot of blood and death or anything that takes place in a hospital. It feels...triggering. So I pick up the movie I chose and go back to the kitchen.
"This one is about magicians," I say as I put it down on the kitchen counter for you to look at. "Are you okay with watching this?"

"Magicians are cool," I grin, finishing up the last of my sandwich and walk over with you to the living room.

I put the movie in and grab the remote before plopping down on the couch. "The other movies looked...scary."